My days vacillate from the unbelievably busy, where did the day go kind of days, to long, lazy, slow days where nothing really gets accomplished at all.
The unbelievably busy ones feel like my old life. The old days were a jam-packed roller-coaster ride of a day, full of client appointments, kids sports, family obligation, personal appointments, grocery shopping, finishing work late into the night….you all know what this looks like.
But the busy days have a different flavor now. I am doing things that I want to do. Doing things that enrich my life. Family events are joyful rather than obligations. The chronic list that was never quite done has disappeared. In its place is a day filled with friends, outdoors, freelance writing, exercise, preparing for travel and cooking. I dreamed of days like this when I was working.
So even though they are full days, they are pleasant days. Not the frantically paced days of old, filled with seemingly meaningless tasks.
And the days that are not full….they are spent having coffee on the front porch, reading, walking with a friend, walking my dog, and thinking. Loving my life. I actually do now. There is a over-arching peacefulness about every day (almost) regardless of whether it is busy or slow.
Do I miss working or miss my job? Do I miss being busy. Unequivocally no. I do work still now. But on my own terms so it blends into my life rather than taking it over.
I am not as financially easy as I was when I worked full-time, but I need less, I travel more and less ostentatiously, and so I have what I need. When I was financially easy, I bought things I did not need and filled my house with things I forgot that I had. And I think I spent to calm my ongoing angst.
I feel like I have arrived into the life that I carefully pictured and planned six years ago. And so far, I like it as much as I thought I would.